R.I.P. Alice Okoli

Posted by Felix Okoli on Wednesday May 20, 2015 at 14:53:38:

It was on a Sunday morning in May 2015 and on the 17th precisely that I saw the lifeless body of my dear mum. She died just 2 weeks to my birthday and the time I saw her body was about 4 a.m. After we rushed her to a close-by hospital, the doctor on duty pronounced her dead on arrival after checking her pulse and heart beat. He just said, "She's gone". I normally thought they would give a first aid first before pronouncing a person dead and the next thing he proceeded to do was to write a forward letter for us to take to the Morgue at LUTH for an autopsy. Initially, while we were in the car and rushing to the hospital to save her, we thought the only thing that happened was that she collapsed and that the hospital will try to revive her and give her some fluids but it was not the case as she had gone forever. It was a painful experience and shocking too.

This was not the first time we've rushed our mother to the hospital since she was diagnosed with a high blood pressure, it was the 2nd time but this was the first time we took her when she was unconscious. Who knows? If we had gone earlier when she was still conscious, we might have saved her but I guess one problem with some high blood pressure attacks is that they can come anytime and my kid sister who was around when she was still conscious said she complained of a serious headache and was restless while she bathed her with cold water and gave her drugs just to calm her down. All her attempts did not really help and she later had to call on us who were still sleeping by then after the situation got worse.

Me and my mom work at the same place because it's a family business we run and I'm probably the closest to her since I spend more time with her but that was mostly during working hours because after work, I normally went out in the evenings and the next time I normally see her is in the mornings since she would already be sleeping by the time I came home. When I came back on Saturday evening before she died, I initially wanted to check on her as I do at times but when I remembered our little quarrel, I felt she might still be angry with me and so I just avoided seeing her till the next morning. I heard that she didn't go to sleep early that night but late since she watched tv with my kid sisters and talked with them before going late to bed. If I knew that that would be her last night before crossing over, I would have spent every bit of it with her since our little disagreements don't normally last long. But I didn't and now she's gone forever. I do hope to meet her soon and I hope that would be in heaven.

One thing I remembered about my mom is that she was always talking about her death and she always remarked it like this "Mbosi mu nwuoro" in Igbo meaning "on the day that I will die". However, I mostly advised her to be rather focused on the after life. I guess when you hear someone close to you always mostly talking about their death like Jesus Christ, they either have a premonition about it or are already planning towards it.

She was healthy on Saturday and was energetic till the evening without complaining of any sickness and she always takes her blood pressure drugs by herself at the right time although I later learnt that they weren't sure she took it that night before the ugly day. At the age of 63+, she was still a bit healthy and was relatively active. She normally leads us in morning prayers too.

She had arthritis of the knee and high blood pressure but was still involved in cooking meals and arranging the home with the house help and her daughters even though she was in her early 60s. I find it hard that my mother died when people are living to be 85 and 90 years old.

Sunday May 17 was one of the ugliest days of my life and it will forever leave a scar in my life because my mother is gone and I didn't get to say goodbye. It would have been better if she had been sick and was admitted to the hospital rather than the sudden mysterious attack that left her lifeless.

For now, she will continue to live in my memory and from what I remember, she was always cheerful, easy going, modest, hardworking and religious too. Last time she attended church was on ascension day which was about 3 days before the sad day.

I still find it hard to believe that she is dead and have been praying to Jesus to raise her up like Lazarus. It is still unbelievable and saddening. It is like a part of me is gone forever. I could do without a car, a house or money but it is very hard to do without a mother that you've known all through your life.

May God grant salvation to your soul my mummy and may you find eternal peace till we meet to part no more. Amen.

R.I.P. Alice Okoli